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You are in a romantic relationship.  You have had an argument about something. You are angry and he just withdraws and pretends nothing has happened.  You are frustrated and want a reaction. You want him to apologize or maybe even just argue with you.  Do anything except withdraw.  So you continue to nag or act out or even behave outrageously, hoping to provoke some kind of a response.  Is this what will work?

What do you do? Do you just sit and wait for him to come back pretending like nothing has happened?   Do you take the blame and allow him to make you wrong when you absolutely know that you weren’t wrong.  Do you allow him to abuse you emotionally just to keep the peace?  You just want to relieve the stress between you.  You want him to treat you with respect.  You want him to apologize.  Obviously, pursuing him and trying to get his attention only drives him further away.

So what do you do?  The strategy that works with men most of the time is to push him in the direction he is going.  That means when he is withdrawing, push him away. I know that this creates fear in you.  It creates anxiety that if you push him away, he will go away forever.  Here is the bottom line.  He might.  In reality you are testing him.  The question is, do you want to be in a relationship with a man who does not value you above anything else in his life?

If he does go away forever, he didn’t deserve to have you in the first place.  It is risky, but realize something:

The right man will produce to the level of your expectations.

You have the power in relationship if you choose to take it.  Here is the good news.  If he does come back after you push him away, you get to pull him towards you. The clue is to always push him in the direction he is going.  If he truly loves and cherishes you, he will rise to your standards as long as you present them.  If you settle for abuse and negligence, that is what you will get.  If you don’t ask for what you want, you won’t get it for sure. If you do ask for what you want, sandwiched between acknowledgement and approval, and he produces your result. You more than likely have the right man.

The exciting part about all of this is it doesn’t have to be painful.  It can actually be fun. The essential factor is that you have the right man because that is who will cherish you. You can learn how to ask for anything from anyone in Appetite with Class Coaching.

 

One Comment

  1. Leslie on the July 27, 2011 remarked #

    That sounds fine, but what if you don’t even know why he shut down and he has broken all contact when all signs were good?

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