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There is so much to consider when you think about a relationship and where you want to go with it.  Initially it’s the excitement, the pheromes, the suspense, the hormones that start raging and just the newness and how good you feel that someone actually wants you.  Your mind starts running with it and thinking maybe!  Maybe this could work !  Maybe this person likes the things you like and won’t see through you to all your faults and weaknesses.  Maybe this could be the person who could rescue you from your everyday monotony.

The first thing that happens is chemistry and chemistry is a very powerful element of  relationship, but Chemistry alone will not sustain a long term relationship.   Never discount the power of chemistry.  It is eternal.  Chemistry is organic, cellular, and magnetic.  Love may waver, compatibility may change but the chemistry will remain.

So after the primordial attraction and chemical reaction evens out you are left with evaluating compatibility.  What is that?  Well, it’s what gives you a better chance of survival in a relationship.  I guess you could say it’s the meat and potatoes of  partnership.  Do you want the same things?  Do you want to have children?  Will your children or parents accept this person as a member of their family?  Do you have the same values?  Religion? Work ethic? Politics? Financial aspirations? Geographical preferences? Lifestyle? Sexual energy? Pet preferences? These are the basic issues of relationship and can be the most insidious destructors. Evaluate each issue because if you ignore an issue it will eventually surface and create havoc.

Ultimately the love, along with respect and  commitment is the final element of a successful relationship.  Marriage? Maybe?  Maybe not?  It truly doesn’t’ have to be essential.  Commitment can occur whether or not the legal papers have been filed.  What I am saying is Love is what everyone is seeking. Love is a nebulous concept.  There are books written just about the interpretations of love so this is not an easy concept to grasp.  When you have great chemistry and solid compatibility the final ingredient to romantic bonding is love.  Everyone wants it but not everyone admits that they want it.

Relationship is an opportunity to bind yourself to someone so that you can test yourself daily and forever on how to love someone in spite of everything. That means to love when he/she  is inconsiderate, lovable,  selfish, generous, argumentative, agreeable, angry, happy,  boring, exciting,  sick, physically fit,  dying, giving birth, loving or even hateful.  You can even love if there is abuse.  You just don’t have to tolerate it.  Let’s face it.   A  love relationship and if you choose marriage is an opportunity for personal growth.   It’s a chance  to develop into a mature responsible, compassionate, satisfied human being.  Love is an opportunity to give more of yourself than you have had the choice to do in your lifetime.  So look for it. Look for the person with whom you have chemistry and compatibility and then decide to love and love with your whole heart. It is your possibility for the greatest experience of your time on earth.  Love is a process not an end result, surrender to it.

If you have the integrity to be the best person you can be, you can be in a committed relationship.  Just do it.    If you need help, help is available here.

 

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